J-Soft Blog

Wednesday, February 19, 2003

Are you now, or have you ever been a....

Communism! Ok, it's not as scary as it once was. True, perhaps it poses a threat, well, not an ideological one, there's not a communist hiding around every corner anymore, but it does pose tangible threat. North Korea's got nukes, and they're not hiding them. Nobody needs to go sniffing around, they're there. Sure, China's probably got some too, but they're not even evil, they're...more legit. Nukes or no nukes, communism is old news. It doesn't strike fear into people's hearts. You can't push an agenda with communism any more. People probably wouldn't take you too seriously if you tried to convince them that the country was crawling with communists. It worked in the 50's, but it won't work now. Terrorism on the other hand. That's new, and it's scary. There's a new McCarthyism brewing. It's pretty much the same blend, its just the label that has changed. New, improved, McCarthyism for terrorists. Who knew your next door neighbor might be a terrorist! And you thought he/she was just a run of the mill communist. If Bush read 1984, that is, if he got past all of the big words, he must have loved it, so many good ideas. Who knew you could grab people off the street, and put them in jail with no reason whatsoever. Ok ok, because they look like "terrorists". Fine, so you have a reason. It's not a good reason. It wouldn't hold up in any court, but then, they don't get a trial, so you don't have to worry about it. But, could you do this legally? Sure, it's all in the name of "Homeland Security", because there is no price too high to pay to stop terrorists. Remember, they're scary, and evil, and they're everywhere. Good news, there is a way to be, well, almost absolutely secure, or try at least. Stalin did a good job of it, but even that's not good enough. No matter what you do, someone will sneak past your "security". If you want to be absolutely secure, there's only one thing you can do: kill everybody, everywhere. Ok, so that's a bit impractical, just work on the Stalin thing, its close enough. You can call it "Homeland Security". And while you're at it, you can screw the country while you run off making war in the name of stamping out terrorism. People will love you for it, and if they start asking questions, just remind them that their next door neighbor, the one they thought was a communist, or at least a democrat, might actually be a terrorist.
posted by Jesse at 12:23 PM #


Tuesday, February 18, 2003

The two standing, a river between them. Each testing the water. Each wishing to dive in, but waiting to see if the other will dive in first and swim over. Neither does.
posted by Jesse at 11:48 AM #


Friday, February 07, 2003

It is my firm belief that the DOS command line was never intended to used by actual human beings. I'm an addict of the bash shell's autocomplete. It makes working at the command line so very fluid.
posted by Jesse at 2:47 PM #


Tuesday, February 04, 2003

I periodically take an intrest in Miles Ahead. Well, actually, I seem to go through a rotation of albums, and its Miles Ahead's turn again. By 'take an interest' I mean, 'can't get enough of'. It is fantastic, and beautiful music. I sit here, having just heard "The Duke" morph seemlessly into "My Ship", which will, in a few minutes, morph seemlessly into "Miles Ahead" which will, in another few minutes, morph seemlessly into "Blues for Pablo", which will eventually morph - well, you get the idea. I have notions of arranging one of these tunes for brass quintet. I've had these notions before, and never got around to it. At the beginning of the year I was convinced I would spend the rest of my holidays doing something with "Syeeda's Song Flute"(My current interest at the time was Giant Steps), but nothing ever came of it. Maybe reading week, maybe.


posted by Jesse at 9:36 AM #


Saturday, February 01, 2003

A fire that cannot start. From time to time a wisp of smoke, a tiny spark, but nothing more. And as time drags on, and the embers cool, even these dwindle. It always seems to have breathed its last. But it always seems to have had one more spark left in it.
posted by Jesse at 1:52 AM #




Practice. It was always a chore, just like any other unwanted thing to do. So I didn't do it, and so, I remained for the longest time, and still am, a mediocre player. But, it is not a chore anymore. I like doing it. I enjoy my practice sessions, even the crummy ones, of which there are many. I don't think I have had a really superb practice session, one which made me stop and think, "hey, I'm getting better at this stuff. I have truly never played so well before. I should practice again tommorow" since September or October. That is not to say there aren't good ones, great ones even, just not superb ones. I enjoy them. There is always the hope that suffering through the crummy today will improve things tommorow.

September and October really were something else. There was the perception that I had broken through a barrier that I had been pushing against without affect for years. Everything seemed to be working. Air was flowing, and lips were buzzing with ease. I was able to push towards the limits of my range without feeling like I would fall off the note at any moment. I could not only land on the notes, but finally make some music up there. At the same time my range leaped, probably by about a (minor)third. For the longest time, if I was able to scrape out a D in my practice routine I was satisfied to call it a really good practice session. Now, all of a sudden, I was consistently getting out solid sounding F's almost daily, with less frequent forrays as high as a G. Not only that, but my low register was speaking well, something I had been struggling with over the previous year, fuzzy low notes. It was a revelation. It wasn't to last. November saw all this dissappear back where it came from. The air stopped flowing with ease, the lips went on union breaks. Suddenly, it was all hard work again. I think I have pulled up slightly from the duldrums of November, but I'm still searching, trying to find what it was I found in the fall. Hoping to find it, and keep it, and build on it.

November felt awful. It was awful because the memory of September and October was so fresh. The feeling of having taken a leap forward, and then a leap and a stride backward. I'm sure that this frustration only added to the problem. Had september and october been really crummy months, crummier than november, and november had been as it was, I would have felt great about november. I would have thought "Hey, this is great. Now I'm getting somewhere". September and october were kind
of like standing on top of the summit of the mountain you've been climbing for the longest time. Now, I'm clinging to the summit with my bare hands. Hopefully I can pull myself back up. Of course, if I ever manage to stand at the summit long enough I will the discover the vast expanse of mountain I have yet to climb that had been concieled by clouds while I clung.



(Mountain analogy count: 2)
posted by Jesse at 1:35 AM #